First Person Unreliable
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Goddamnit. There’s nothing but fucking white everywhere. The tiles are white, the wallpaper is off-white, even the fucking curtains are so pale they might as well be white! Is this what crazy people feel like? I stared down the wall one last time before staring out the window, looking for anything that can bring back my sanity but there’s nothing out there except for some beat-up buick and my impala. Can’t even see the dent from up here.
I’m fidgety and can’t keep from playing with the lighter in my pocket to remind myself that I’m alive and that this is really happening and that this isn’t a dream. I still have a pack of ciggs left, just sitting there on the ledge. Staring me down, begging to be smoked. If Mikey were awake he’d probably be pretty psyched. I’ve gone a WHOLE three days with it still in the plastic. Too bad he’s been asleep since he got here a week ago.
“ Excuse me.”
Fuck off nurse. Just take his temperature and go. That’s all you guys ever do. Take his temperature, check his vitals, change his IVs and tell me to wait. You know what? I’m tired of waiting. Sick of standing here like a sack of useless…
“ He looks just like you.”
Okay what? They usually don’t make small talk so I looked over and saw Joseph. Fucking Joseph.
He was leaning over the rail of Micheal’s bed and pushing aside the small hairs that clung to his face from sweat. He was wearing the Ramones shirt he stole from me senior year. There weren’t any black streaks in his hair and his jeans only had one rip in them.
I swear I was trying to talk but it was like someone shoved a handful of peanut butter down my throat and I was too busy un-sticking my tongue from the roof of my mouth to get anything out. That’s when he looked up at me and smiled and I didn’t see any fangs.
“ He’s making great progress.” And just like that he was gone because he was never really there to begin with. It was some nurse. Yeah she was blond but that’s where the similarities between her and Joseph ended. “ I know this must be hard on you but he’s going to pull through. He’s a strong one.”
She was trying to sound convincing, like she really thought Micheal was sleeping and not under some heavy cocktail of chemicals to rearrange the ones he fucked over with the meth. I wasn’t mad at her for trying but fake sympathy was the last thing I needed. “ Just ask for Maggie if you ever need anything.”
She finally walked out with her head down. I guess the silent treatment really works.
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